Why Always Her?

First, let's start with stating some things that I want to make sure are clear: I will not vilify Sydney Sweeney after her latest controversy nor will I treat her as a dumb or fragile creature, because even though I might not agree with how she does things, I cannot deny that there is a powerful brain at work here.

I hope we can all agree that attacking her brain, her body or anything like that is simply not the way, because well...first of all she is considered beautiful by a good portion of the population (both male and female) so a general consensus is present. When she wants to act she is actually quite good and willing to push the envelope at times and showcase her range in drama, thrillers, comedy and more, plus she is still a young actress polishing her craft.

Let's not confuse not pursuing higher education for not being smart, she was valedictorian of her graduating class in high school and has pursued different businesses (with a mix of good and bad strategies) and I am pretty sure she has a good understanding of marketing, networking, the simplicity of the male brain at times, among other things.

And lastly, she knows what she is doing, let's not say she was not aware or that she didn't know this could happen...she knew and was ready for the good and the bad as she embraces the ethos that "there's no such thing as bad publicity", I mean we are all talking about it and even a movement by various female athletes has begun.

Now, let's remember the disconnect here that some of my male peers online are trying to defend for some reason or another with claims of jealousy, "it's a betting company", "she is following orders", "it's for men", etc.

Let's start with the stupid defense...well all of them are, but since I put them in an order I will start with jealousy. All the athletes that have spoken are absolutely stunning and powerful and inspiring and there's no reason for them to have any sort of jealousy as they pursue their success in different realms, they do sports and she does...acting most of the time, but also things like this. Also, this minimizes the concept of jealousy to looks only, as if she was the only owner of the concept of beauty...she is not, beauty takes different definitions and can be found everywhere. So, men...do better than try to bring down women to your concepts of what you lust for, because there's no way you are ever meeting her, just like there's no way I will, and honestly I am happily married so I don't think about it or want to.

Next, ahhh yes..."it's a betting company"...how brilliant you are to claim that betting should come with a woman walking around completely naked with the exception of some enticingly placed sports items (balls sounded too childish). But you forget one thing, betting is not solely for men, there's no rule about this or any sort of limitation for women to engage in betting, and while yes she got your attention and now I ask...are you going to bet? Spend all your money on this new innovative betting tool (please tell me you noticed the sarcasm)? Or are you simply going to take screenshots, try to pause the ad on YouTube, salivate a little bit, take a stroll through your imagination with these images? Did the ad actually get you to use it? If it did, then great, it was supposed to do that...right? With her, I wonder sometimes, she seems to abuse the whole concept of "there's no such thing as bad publicity" and she forgets that women are also customers and she just alienated them (not all, I am one to exaggerate, but I am sure quite a few have no interest on this new company in which she is a partner and equity holder, that means she has an ownership).

Now let's go to..."she is following orders", the previous paragraph established that this is not true, she is an owner and partner in the company and also let's give credit where credit is due, she does have enough power and presence to dictate if she will do or not do something within an ad, maybe not in a movie or tv show, but an ad, for sure.

A personal favorite, "it's for men"...so you're telling me that we cannot see a woman unless she is naked or half naked, because if we don't get this we don't engage, we don't buy, we don't download? The other betting companies around don't seem to have a Sydney walking around as if she was prancing around in the ancient olympics (they were naked by the way if you needed that clarification). Also, men...please grow up, don't forget that women are part of your life on a daily basis, you are not only talking about her when you use this to defend your opinion, you're pulling all the other women into this same small box, that does more to show your very limited mindset than to actually serve as a defense for her.

*I am seeing men using "her body, her choice" as if this was the case for Sydney, this only shows their willful ignorance on the matter. This phrase/slogan first emerged around 1969 and became a regular chant at women's liberation rallies by the 1970's and it was created and used to demand basic human rights and self-determination. It's still being used nowadays because some people are still trying to control how women use their bodies and whether they have rights to the decisions they make regarding them.*

Also, she tends to overuse her own showcase of sensuality and physique, that while appealing and definitely eye-catching, should not always be her go to. This is seen in her SYRN lingerie brand, that while having a strong and appealing social media presence, it's too focused on men, it does not seem to click with women because it's all about her sensuality, not theirs, something that another entrepreneur in the lingerie business actually understood perfectly, yes...Rihanna through Savage X Fenty. You see this in their catch phrases on Instagram, hers is "From Syd’s boobs to yours." and Rihanna uses "We want you to feel sexy and have fun doing it.” One clicks with others, one keeps her in the limelight as the example forgetting that women and their bodies are different.

I digress, let's go back to the issue at hand...her latest campaign and the many reactions of women in sports or let's just use the right word, athletes, because they are this and much more. They represent an area of this field that is often mocked and ridiculed by many men online, because they can't seem to accept that no matter what, they could never do what they are doing. I see them and know that I can't do what they do and I am in awe of their capacity to push their bodies beyond anything I could imagine. I support them and not because I have any sort of romantic or lustful interest, but because I hope to one day have a daughter, and I want her to have as many examples as possible, and of course she will have the most important one at home, her mother. Because of this unknown human that I hope will arrive sometime soon, I support women, but I also stand firmly in their corner because I am aware I exist because of a woman, I live and breathe because of a woman, the most important people that have shown me that strength cannot ever be properly defined as they break the mold always have been women.

I have been a spectator in regards to how the mold they are "supposed" to fit in cannot fight against their power and I know that we should not only listen to them as they hope for their voices to be heard, but we should let Sydney know that we get it, you are aware of the power of your body, but we can also be in awe of your brain and your work in the silver screen. I said I was not going to insult you and I won't because I know you are smart, you are capable, and while I know where you are registered politically (this is public information), I won't assume your actual beliefs, or how they shape your decisions, I can only hope that you will let the world see more of what you can actually do and understand that you are part of a powerful and ancient brethren, womanhood.

And please, try new marketing strategies, you don't always have to be the center of attention and it does not always have to land on your body and how you use it. I get it, "there's no such thing as bad publicity" has been said hundreds and hundreds of times and it can be considered real, but also remember that views, likes and interactions don't actually mean influence or large numbers in sales or downloads or anything of the sort. Another thing, you are not an athlete and using the fact that female athletes have appeared naked on digital or physical publications does not defend your position the way you think (yes, your story was seen). You are actually showing the breach between you and them, because their bodies that they showcased came from many years of hard work and dedication to their craft, not from the pursuit of a gaze that we all know you easily get.

Remember what happened with SYRN — your initial batch sold out and after you kept up with the same antics, the numbers didn't stay up (as claimed by online outlets, tabloids and so-called insider information). Why could this have happened? Maybe because hype is temporary, not permanent unless you start creating a connection with your customers, one that at least feels like you are looking out for them and thinking about how you can offer a solution, some comfort, something useful. You might believe that this new betting app will connect with the customers, because apparently only men bet, but you are forgetting that there are other entities doing the same thing. They are offering a place to bet but with more tools, more customers, better offers and the power to adapt faster than the company you are part owner of, because that should be clarified, you have a stake in this, and clarity is always important.

Lastly, men you can claim that you are the only judges in this topic and have your own opinion about this ad, but at least make sure to actually use your head when you do so. It's important to understand or at least try to understand the nuances behind words and phrases that have been used by women to fight suppression and silence. The least you can do is a simple google search and educate yourself with the bare minimum and not try to constantly use their words against them. Listen, stay quiet and learn, if not for yourselves, for the women in your lives.