A Conversation With Myself

First of all, this is not a regular piece of writing, it's a conversation between me, myself and I in which we/I come to an understanding that something will always be present — we just have to continue learning how to manage this. It's a guide if you want to see it that way and of course if you find it worthwhile or useful for your situation — but in the end it's simply something shared by one to others, and hopefully it can help to make you, my dear others, feel less alone.

The Dive

Now, let's dive into the nitty gritty, yes I have depression and no there are really no voices, it's just my own negative thoughts being amplified on a daily basis. It sounds horrible, but thankfully for me, the majority of days the amplified messages are connected to the happiness and beauty that I am blessed to have in my life (depression does not make them disappear, but sometimes it makes them blurry and hard to see). I have learned to see these, but it was not easy and I will not say my learning process is the same as someone else's because we must always be aware that we are different, in the good and in the not-so good.

Plus, the amplification of these messages can be, and typically are different between people and even for me, there are times in which the negative thoughts are quite loud and hard to look away or ignore.

I am not trying to sell you some magic cure, because there isn't one, medicine can help but as they clearly state on those minuscule warnings — they can and typically have side effects in one way or another. It's a matter of putting into perspective on our own individual internal scales what matters most and if the reward is worth the risk (cliche I know, but very real).

Society

We are all together in life in one way or another, but we seem to like to forget this and we are fans of dividing each other for some stupid reason or another — we come up with new ones every day. This constant quest for division is not helpful for a mind with depression as it serves to empower the belief that maybe things like family, life, the warm touch of someone loved, the laughter of your kids, a job well done and so many other things are not worth it...but they are.

It's hard, I know, especially nowadays when everything is about division, hatred, imaginary hierarchies, ignorance being so willfully and easily spread across the globe, the constant excuses, the way in which we all try to put ourselves above someone else in one way or another. Money, race, religion, the darkness or the lightness of our skin, education degrees, left, right, up, down, the list probably never ending — but we love to add more things to it and the majority of times we fancy reusing the classics.

The Struggle

You, me, us and everyone else struggle, but we do so in ways that are specific to each other and our experiences in life. We can take these struggles and make them be all that matters, or we can attempt to see them as opportunities. Yes, opportunities...for growth, for learning, for admiration and for so many other things. Again, I won't say this is easy and sometimes it feels (and can be) practically impossible.

I understand you, but if anything, I want you to know that I am in your corner, we are in your corner. Yes, this stranger is in your corner, and all I want from you in return my dear stranger, is to be on mine. That's it, nothing special, a simple "you got this" can go a long way and sometimes it can be the highlight of a day. But if you need silence and a smile, I got you, yes the me, myself and I will be there for you.